Valentines day 2011

It's Valentines day once again. As always, most men struggle to find "The Perfect Gift". I'll tell you a secret. You can't find "The Perfect Gift" in any store. If you are struggling to find something for your special someone. Why not try making something with your own two hands, or your brain. Since I have a passion for writing. The easiest thing for me to do is write something for my wife. She deserves much more, but alas I am neither a stone mason nor a carpenter. So her castle will have to wait. ;)

Valentines day
Love is a wonderful thing.
It can make you fly,
it can make your heart sing.

Valentines day is here at last.
Time to celebrate love,
a feeling that can't be surpassed.

Time for sending loved ones candy or flowers.
A thing of beauty for one of beauty,
too bad their life can be measured in hours.

Be careful which present you send.
Everything can have a double meaning,
and you don't want to upset your best friend.

Flowers wither and die quite fast.
She might think you're not serious,
and you love is fleeting and fast.

Candy is sweet, no doubt about that.
If she is concerned about her wieght,
she may think you are trying to make her fat.

But, sometimes a girl just likes to get flowers.
A box of candy is a delicious treat,
and finding the right gift, shouldn't take you hours.

So give without regret.
If your gift comes from the heart,
she will love it, no matter what you meant.

Before you go I'll tell you this.
If your gift comes from your hand,
your day will surely end with a kiss.

The continuing saga of Strokes Neckbeard.

The continuing saga of Strokes Neckbeard.
Savior of the seven seas.

We join our hero, Strokes Neckbeard in his bedroom. His girlfriend Boobs MacGuffin is finishing up her shower...

...Just then Fragile Glassjaw bursts into the room.

"Oh my god, boobs!"

"Hey, how did he know my name?" Asked Boobs MacGuffin.

Strokes pointed at her chest. "I think he was referring to those." Strokes turned to Fragile. "Damnit Fragile, what the hell are you doing in my bedroom?"

Fragile rushed Strokes and sucker punched him in the neck. Strokes began to cough and choke and attempted to sputter an obscenity at Fragile, who stood there laughing and pointing.

When Strokes regained his composure he shouted at Boobs to "Cover yourself for God's sake." Fragile took that opportunity to kick Strokes when he was down.

The location of that kick prompted a protest from Boobs MacGuffin. "Hey, I need that!"

"Shut up and cover yourself will ya," said Strokes.

Boobs took the stolen hotel towel she was wearing around the waist and moved it up to cover her chest. However, since this was a hotel towel, she uncovered something else. Fragile's jaw dropped. He stood there like a gaping idiot. Strokes seized the opportunity and punched Fragile in the gut, then introduced his knee to Fragile's face. Fragile fell to the ground unconscious.

Strokes Neckbeard

My writing partner IM'ed me with a single line describing an action. "*strokes neckbeard*" I turned it into some corny, but fun, flash fiction. Who knows, perhaps there is a story line here.

We find our hero, Strokes Neckbeard bound hand and foot by the nefarious villian Fragile Glassjaw.

"So, you thought you could just blow up my ship and get away with it, eh Neckbeard? What, no snappy retort from the great Strokes Neckbeard, the savior of the seven seas? I confess myself dissapointed," said Fragile.

"I thought it might be better to answer you with my fist."

"And just how do you plan to do that?"

"Well, I found a nail that was not quite pounded down over here, and I've been working on my ropes for the last few hours." Suddenly Strokes sprang forward and landed a blow to Fragile's jaw.

Fragile immediately coughed up some blood and teeth. "You broke my friggin jaw!"

Strokes shook his hand in the air as if to shake off the hurt. "Serves you right Glassjaw. You're busted."